Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Squabble on Nursery Playground

Goen Gitter, Staff writer

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The third Presidential Debate took an unexpected turn when Donald Trump (4 years old) and Hillary Clinton (4 years, 3 months, and 3 weeks old) squabbled on a Forsyth County Elementary School playground. Both candidates were initially polite, taking small sips from their Fruit Punch Caprisuns; smiling at the crowd of schoolchildren eager to hear about their reforms, both planning to implement longer recess periods and more chocolate pudding during lunch time. It took a dark turn when Presidential Candidate Donald Trump reached for the last Caprisun, situated haphazardly amidst the ice cubes in the cooler between them, accidentally touching Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton’s hand. A shrill outcry of fear left his mouth, his head twitching violently, his comb-over whipping to and fro in distress. “Cooties!” He screamed, “She gave me cooties!” Hillary Clinton looked shocked, but began to laugh at the evident panic in his eyes, replying with a stinging remark that brought Donald Trump to the verge of tears, “Girls rule, boys drool!”

Both candidates were ushered off of the stage by the moderators, sent into opposing corners of the playground for a “ten-minute time-out to think about their actions.”

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